Part I. My origin story is a cross between "Call Me Ishmael," a few too many whiskey sours packed in an old thermos at the drive-in double feature, and that little voice that says, "you got this". Bury my heart at Chuck E. Cheese's ; Headlines -- Part II. Instead of a "raised by wolves" t-shirt, mine says "raised by functional alcoholics with intimacy phobias & low self-esteem". The Jimmy report ; My name is Moonbeam McSwine ; The siam sequences -- Part III. Micro (aggression) memoirs. First world (story) problems: Brown girl multiple choice edition ; Tweets as assigned texts for a Native American studies course ; Ghoul, Interrupted -- Part IV. Garsh durn it! You say patriarchy, I say patri-malarkey, dollars to donuts cuckoo banana pants, you gals & your lady power this 'n' that. An open letter to white women concerning The Handmaid's Tale and America's historical amnesia ; Fertility Rites ; Wonder Woman hits theaters, smashes patriarchy ; Jame Gumb, hero and pioneer of the fat-positivity movement ; post-election message to the 53 percent ; Committee of barnyard swine to determine fate for women's health ; Champion our native sisters! (but only selectively and under certain conditions) ; An open letter to white girls regarding pumpkin spice and cultural appropriation -- Part V. Me, cutting in front of all the people in all the lines forever: "It's Okay, I literally was here first" #DecolonizedAF. Thousands of jingle dress dancers magically appear at standing rock protector site ; Satire article goes viral on day of 2016 presidential election results ; Attack of the fifty-foot (Lakota) Woman ; Minnesota art gallery to demolish "Indian Uprisings" exhibit after Caucasian community protest ; Why I don't like "Pussy" hats ; Li-Li-Li-Li-Land, Standing Rock, the Musical! -- Part VI. Merciless Indian Savages? Try Merciless Indian Fabulous! Redeeming the English language (acquisition) series ; Fifty shades of Buckskin -- Conversation s with my Lakota mom ; Feast smudge snag ; Eight types of native moms -- Part VII. "Shill the Pretendian, Unfav the Genuine" is the 2018 remix of "Kill the Indian, Save the Man". Red like me: I knew Rachel Dolezal back when she was Indigenous ; A list of alternative identities to try for fun and profit ; I have white bread privilege ; Things pseudo-native authors have claimed to be but actually are not ; You might be a pretendian -- Part VIII. I watched Woman Walks Ahead and frankly was offended by the cookie-cutter stereotypical portrayal of the menacing white soldier. Reel Indians don't eat quiche: The fight for authentic roles in Hollywood ; Are you there, Christmas? It's me, Carol! ; Post-election U.S open in racist tirades competition ; West Wing world -- Part IX. The Native Americans used every part of the sacred turkey. Hey America, I'm taking back Thanksgiving ; Clown costumes banned, racist Native American Halloween costumes still okay ; Thanksgiving shopping at Costco: I just can't even ; Politically correct alternatives to culturally insensitive Halloween costumes -- Part X. Breaking news--Your neighbor who said, "Woah, dude, this whole Trump thing's, like, so fricken surreal," might actually be on to something. Step right up, folks ; Trump pardons zombie apocalypse ; There's something about Andrew Jackson ; Trump administration to repeal bison as first national mammal ; President Trump scheduled for whirlwind tour to desecrate world's treasures -- Part XI. The Trump administration's pop-up, coloring, scratch 'n' sniff, edible, and radioactive activity book ; You've got mail! ; Executive order requiring all Americans take up cigarettes by end of 2017 ; The wild west (wing) and Wild Bill Hiccup ; Give Chump a chance ; Ars Poetica by Donald J. Trump.
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